The first part of 2016 seemed to be all about weddings for me, and I only went to one wedding.
My son’s wedding.
After seeing a lovely girl from California for over 2 years and getting engaged in the process, the wedding planning began. But, have you ever had the feeling that someone is “present in body but not in spirit?” That was kind of what happened at our house.
“Grooms to be” are just a little distracted. Twitterpated.
Of course my sister told me it would be like this. Her daughter Chloe got married not so long ago and she gave me a heads up about the changes in behavior.
So this was what life with Daniel was like January-March of 2016 and some of the major symptoms I noticed.
- His phone goes off with a ring tone that sounds kind of dreamy.
- He answers that ring tone with a happy sounding noise close to a giggle and chuckle rolled in one.
- His free evenings are spent on the phone discussing wedding plans.
- He talks, no, he croons quietly on the phone even though they are discussing the wedding. (?!?)
- He drives aggressively and talks very little on the flight and drive to California.
- Except he starts talking very happily 5 minutes before we get there.
- Mood swings.
There’s more. But I think you understand where this is going and I hope you realize I was being a little sarcastic.
The interesting thing is, I didn’t mind his behavior. It actually made me happy to see “young love” in action. My sister Helen and I agreed that it was normal and it was a good thing. Besides, it gave us something to tease him about. I couldn’t even give him too hard a time about being on the phone, it’s so handy with cell phones these days.
So easy. Maybe too easy.
Made me jealous. A little.
It brought back memories of my own times on the phone with Isaac years ago. Calling him was such a hassle.
But it’s amazing what you’ll do for love.
During my growing up years we lived out in the ” boonies” of West Texas right near the New Mexico border. It was called “No Man’s Land” when it came to telephone service. Our neighbors 1-2 miles to the north had phones. We didn’t have a landline at all during the 10 years we lived there but did end up installing a mobile phone into dad’s farm truck (when the technology to do so finally came out) after living without a phone for about 4 years.
I think I was 13-14 when we had our mobile phone put in. We. were. so. excited. We had the loooongest phone number- but it was easy to memorize for us being we were so proud to have one at all. We were extremely thankful even though it wasn’t a normal phone.
It was quite a contraption. The truck horn would honk to let us know when we were getting a call. Talk about adrenaline. There were 6 children in our family, the fastest runner would answer the phone. Didn’t matter if we were barefoot and had to run on hot gravel, we got there in a matter of seconds. The PHONE had rung.
Later we upgraded. The phone base was removable and my dad built a little wooden frame he set up on a shelf inside our living room where we could slide the phone base into.
No more running breakneck speeds to answer the phone. We were modern now.
One problem. No, two problems with that phone.
- It had a timer. We could only be on the phone for 4 minutes before a familiar “tick…tick…tick…” Would alert you to the fact that you’d get cut off in about 30 seconds.
- It was CB style, so your conversations were open to the public.
So with all that in mind, you can only imagine how often Isaac (my boyfriend then, and husband now) called me.
I think once.
(Mostly I think it was because it was in dad’s truck.)
That left me having to call him while sitting in a very hot or cold vehicle with the windows up and the volume way down so I could stay private in my conversations with him. The transition to indoor “phone service” happened about midway through our dating time, so even though I still preferred to sit outside because of privacy, I had to come up with a different plan for the times when the phone made it inside before I could call.
I was too embarrassed to just tell people I wanted to use the phone, so I would wait till everyone went to bed to call. I’d steal into the living room, (thankfully with a door that I could close) but even with the volume all the way down, it was too loud. So there I sat, perched on the arm of the sofa, holding a book against the speaker, and talking (or crooning maybe?) quietly into the hand mic. CB static included.
Not very romantic.
And way too soon that the silly thing would start ticking and I’d have to call back again and again to continue our conversation.
We spent HOURS on the phone during our 2 years of dating. And we weren’t even planning the wedding! That was my mom’s job. All I did was bake a cake and wrap silverware in napkins and tie it with a pink ribbon. Not a lot of planning needed for that.
So what in the world did we talk about??
Does it matter?
It was such a hassle.
But it was so fun.
It took effort, but it was the beginning of a friendship and love that continues til this day. God has been so good to us. ❤️
Now, I know that some couples can be a little exclusive and distracted by the “hearts in their eyes.” And I know how hard transition can be when a child starts a close relationship outside their family circle, because everything changes. Thankfully, I’ve seen Daniel and Sarah navigate this quite well, but I know it wasn’t easy for them.
People around young couples can become impatient, but I kind of feel sorry for the them. Dating couples walk a tight wire between family, friendships and each other. They have the difficult task of trying to build AND maintain all of those relationships at the same time. It’s a lot of work. We appreciate when they are sensitive to those who care about them.
Because their love is costing others something too.
And if they’re distracted, it may frustrate or amuse us. But really, they do need to invest in each other, We know that. We know it’s a good thing.
Soon enough they will face difficulties and they need to beable to count on us being on their side praying for them and encouraging them.
Because love is hard work.
And, being “lovestruck” is hard work.
Even if you didn’t live in the 80’s.Encourage and pray for a young dating couple today. They need it. This is the time that they need you.
Besides, sooner or later this season will pass and they will come over for “Restaurant Soup” and spend the night on your floor downstairs just for fun.
And that’s fun too.